Sanctuary: Delos Series, Book 9 Page 12

  “We are his enemy,” Teren muttered, shaking her head, stunned by the revelations.

  Nolan moved a little closer, placing his hand over her cold, damp fingers. “You got very lucky when Nazir pushed your door open to get to you, Teren. If Ayman hadn’t been passing by…”

  Swallowing convulsively, the specter of her life at eighteen rose before her eyes. “No…I get it. Those gangs in Darfur routinely rape women and children. He would have raped me…” The word came out huskily, laden with emotion. Teren had never told anyone here at Kitra what had happened to her. And it could have happened again.

  Nazir was a strong young man, and he could have easily overpowered her. He could have raped and killed her. She gripped Nolan’s hand, needing his physical support right now. His fingers tightened a little more around hers, as if sensing the depth of her terror. How close she’d come to being a rape victim once again. And Nazir was also a murderer. She remembered reading about that gang. They used machetes to cut off the arms and legs of their enemies, watching them bleed out and die. A chill coursed through her.

  “So,” she said, her voice cracking. “This is the gang that’s after me? They work with Sharan and Uzan?”

  “We think so,” Ayman said. “But it’s too early to say for sure. My men are closing in on Aziim Nimir in the slums right now. We’ve sent photos of Bachir and Nazir to their cell phones so they know who to look for.”

  “What happens then?” Teren asked, her voice sounding a million miles away from her. She kept her focus on Nolan’s hand, which had swallowed her own. It was the only warm place on her whole body right now, and her insides felt like quivering Jell-O.

  “If my men verify one or both of them,” Ayman said briskly, “then I alert our government. As you know, there is a strong effort to keep any kind of terrorists out of Sudan. Bachir is a known affiliate of al-Qaeda. If they verify his presence, the Army will send in a big enough contingent to find and capture him. They will destroy his entire operation and round up his soldiers.”

  “That could become a bloodbath,” Teren whispered. “He wouldn’t go down without a fight and you know that.”

  “It’s out of our hands,” Ayman said philosophically, shrugging.

  “If they do capture or kill him, what does that mean about the hit Sharan has taken out on me and on Kitra?”

  “My men are looking for Uzan as well. He’s a well-respected captain within the ranks of that terrorist organization. He would know if there were any al-Qaeda ties to any gang in those slums. And I’m sure he’s either made contact with Bachir or will shortly.”

  “Teren, Ayman’s men are going to play it low-key. They want to try to find all three players. Mostly, they want to net Uzan, if they can,” Nolan added.

  She looked into his hooded eyes, needing him desperately. “What do you mean ‘low-key,’ Nolan?”

  “They will scout the perimeter of Aziim Nimir’s territory once they locate it. They’ll blend in, try to find some of Bachir’s soldiers, buddy up to them, try to get intel out of them. They’re good at what they do, Teren. They work in the shadows and aren’t about to tip their hand.”

  “This may take weeks or longer,” Ayman warned her. “No one goes into Sudan like John Wayne, with guns blazing.”

  “Oh, that fantasy,” Teren growled. “He made war look romantic. And it’s just the opposite.”

  “You won’t get any argument out of us,” Nolan assured her, giving her a slight smile.

  His half smile chased away some of her dread. “What do I do in the meantime?”

  “Just do what you always do,” Ayman urged. “But under no circumstance do you go anywhere near Khartoum. Here at Kitra, you are the safest. Plus, you have this man protecting you.” Ayman gestured toward Nolan.

  “But there’s a medical group coming from Belgium in two weeks to go to a village twenty-five miles south of us. I was to be a part of it as their interpreter, not to mention I must coordinate it too.”

  “We’ll see as that time grows closer,” Ayman counseled, waving his hand in a downward motion.

  “But it’s safe,” Teren argued strongly. “It’s out on the grasslands. You can see a person coming for miles. You could send some of your soldiers with me if you are worried, Uncle.”

  “All of that is possible, dear Teren. I just cannot give you any firm answer right now. This is a dangerous game we are playing with Bachir. We have to be careful. I don’t want to lose you or any of our men to that hyena.”

  “No, I don’t want you to, either,” Teren said solemnly. “But this medical group has been in the mix for nine months. I was to lead the convoy to that village. I know the elders there well, and I’m a known entity to them. I’ll be doing the translation—”

  “Please,” Ayman said gently. “I will look at this trip closer to the date, Teren. I will not risk your life. You must understand that.”

  Deflated, she nodded and collapsed against the chair, feeling suddenly drained. “Yes…okay…you’re right, Uncle. I’m just…shaken, is all…”

  “And you have every right to be,” he murmured sympathetically. “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”

  “No, I can’t. I don’t want to. Working stabilizes me. I won’t think about this if I’m focused on writing code. I’ll leave at five p.m. like I always do.” She stood up, releasing Nolan’s hand, giving him a look of thanks. Her knees felt mushy. Straightening her spine, she tried to look stronger than she felt.

  “I’ll walk you back to your office,” Nolan offered.

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  Ayman stood, his thick black brows scrunched. “Teren, dearest, you must allow Nolan to remain close to you at all times. He becomes your shadow until we can understand the strategy that Uzan and Sharan have created.”

  “Yes,” she promised with a weak smile, “I’m more than happy to have Nolan with me now, after hearing all of this.” And she was.

  As she walked slowly down the hall, Nolan at her shoulder, she said in a low tone, “I’m reeling, Nolan.”

  He reached out, cupping her elbow. “I know you are. It’s a helluva lot to absorb. Your life just got turned inside out, Teren. I’m sorry.” He gave her a caring look and squeezed her elbow. “And I’m here for you. Just let me know how I can help, okay?”

  Nolan knew that some people, when cornered like this, wanted to be left alone. They crawled into an inner hole within themselves to hide, wanting no one around, wanting as little contact as possible. It was their way of coping, and it might be her way, too.

  He wasn’t about to assume anything with Teren right now. She was pale, her eyes dark, and she seemed to him like an unraveling ball of emotional yarn. What he wanted to do to help Teren was probably not what she wanted or needed.

  She sighed and gave him an abject look. “Remember how much fuss I put up about the inner door being locked between our apartments?”

  “Yes.”

  Her lips compressed. “Would you mind if I not only kept it unlocked but opened it up a bit? I’m feeling really scared, Nolan. I just need to know you’re nearby. I feel safe with you. I know that sounds crazy under the circumstances, but you give me a sense of protection.” She touched her furrowed brow. “And right now, I need that. Really badly.” The past was coming back to haunt her. She’d been brutally beaten by a man before and now this time, men wanted to kill her. It was simply too much for her to absorb right now and left her feeling raw and vulnerable.

  CHAPTER 10

  Nolan met Teren at her office later that afternoon. She looked pale and withdrawn and he sensed how upset she was about the situation. He wandered in, hands in his pockets.

  “It’s five in the afternoon,” he greeted her. “I thought I’d walk you home.” She lifted her head and looked up toward him, and he instantly saw relief in her eyes. Teren was the kind of person who couldn’t hide her feelings if she wanted to. She was so readable. He took his hands out of his pockets and saw the stack of files had dwindled since
the last time he’d been in here.

  “Thanks,” she murmured. “I’ll be ready in just a moment.”

  She was struggling to act like nothing had happened. Nolan got that. It was a standard defense most people would employ against shocking news. For Teren to look at the true nature of the threat against her would probably be overwhelming.

  Nolan would have done the same thing. He compartmentalized himself all the time. But it didn’t seem as if Teren was very adroit about it because she was still clearly shaken.

  Leaning his hip against her desk, he said, “I took the bull by the horns and tried my hand at making us dinner tonight.”

  Her heart swelled with so many wonderful feelings as he caught and held her gaze. “That’s so sweet.” She made a few last keystrokes and the computer powered down. “What are we having?”

  “Something light,” he murmured, assessing her. “I know most people don’t eat much when they’re upset.” He saw damp spots on her tee. She’d been crying. Probably closed the door and bawled her eyes out. Why was Teren trying to handle something so overwhelming as this by herself? Nolan knew she had friends here at Kitra she could confide in and ask for help and support, so why hadn’t she?

  “I’m one of those people for sure,” she said, rising. “I’ve been accused of having what is called a ‘sensitive stomach.’” Double-checking all the equipment and making sure it was shut down, she picked up her white straw purse, slinging it over her shoulder. “Are you a decent cook, Nolan?”

  He felt her trying to shift, to pretend everything was normal. He played along, having no desire to make her suffer any more than she already had. “I went over and saw Nafeesa. I asked her what would be a good meal for you, because you weren’t feeling very well. She gave me some things to put together for you tonight.”

  “That’s so sweet of Nafeesa. And you, too. Thank you.” She grimaced as she came around the desk. “Now everyone will gossip about me not feeling good. They’ll all worry.”

  He cupped her elbow and liked that she moved into him, their bodies almost touching. “No one can know what’s really going on. We’ll inform all the department heads tomorrow at nine,” he assured her. “Otherwise, it remains top secret for now.”

  “There’s no sense in scaring everyone to death around here, Nolan.” Teren turned and shut her door, locking it with a key. “See? I do lock some doors.” She forced a slight smile. A corner of his mouth lifted, and she melted beneath the caring look he gave her. “I’m trying,” she growled defensively.

  “You’re doing fine, sweetheart.”

  The endearment nearly brought new tears to her eyes—tears of gratitude and hope. Once again, Nolan had made her feel warm inside, thawing that icy fear that had held her in its grip since her talk with him and Ayman earlier in the day. Now he guided her down the hall toward a door that would take them out into the courtyard. How did he know she loved to walk down that lush green grass beneath the shade of the trees? Sometimes, Teren wondered if the man read her mind. For someone she’d just met, he seemed very attuned to her needs without her saying anything.

  Everyone was leaving work, walking back to their duplexes for the evening. The sky was a light, bright blue, the heat of the day, in the high nineties, unbroken. The breeze was hot against Teren’s face. She remained close to Nolan because he gave her the care she so desperately sought right now. The gates were closed in the distance and she could see the mirages dancing across the flat grasslands outside of them. Her mind wouldn’t remain still, leaping over so many conversations, those photos, and the past coming sharply back in focus, staring at her once more.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Nolan asked, looking down at her set features. He was coming to realize that when Teren was upset, her brow furrowed, and she’d sometimes chew on her lower lip. “Or,” he added drily, “maybe a dollar or two?” That brought out a vague half smile from Teren. A hint of pink tinged her cheeks and he realized he’d reached her. It felt good to know he could influence her. A woman didn’t blush unless she cared about the man she was with. His fingers lightly caressed her elbow, and he saw her frown begin to soften. She was extraordinarily sensitive; just the brush of his fingers, a light stroking motion reassured her. Knowing this warmed him more than she could have imagined.

  “You’ll need a thousand-dollar bill,” she murmured, lifting her chin, meeting his eyes, and feeling the ice inside her begin to melt. Right now, Nolan didn’t have on his game face, nor did he try to hide the pleasure she saw burning in his eyes for her. No question, there was something strong and good between them. Teren hesitated to give any more of herself to Nolan because her choice in men had been so awful. Farida told her not to worry about it, that she had to go through a lot of bad boys to attract a real man to her. A man like her husband, Ameer. In many respects, Teren saw how much the Sudanese man was like Nolan. And vice versa. It was as if they had been cast from the same mold. But maybe the military molded all men that way.

  “Okay, I can afford ten dollars,” he said, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. He released her elbow as they wandered slowly down the shady courtyard. Pulling out a ten, he placed it in her hand. “There.”

  A chuckle escaped her. “No…take it back. I was just kidding, Nolan.”

  “Keep it. Give it to your favorite child on the playground. He or she will take it home to Mom and she’ll think that Allah blessed her. A U.S. ten-dollar bill equates to fifty-five Sudanese pounds. In this country, for someone who’s poor, that’s half a year’s pay.”

  Teren folded the bill and tucked it into her jeans pocket. “You’re right. Thank you.” She smiled up at him. And then something unexpected, something wonderful, happened.

  “Come here,” he rasped against her hair, sliding his arm around her shoulders, drawing her beneath his arm. “You look like you want to be held for a little while. Am I right?”

  She slowed, savoring his arm sliding across her shoulders, hand on her upper arm, barely tugging her toward him; he didn’t assume she wanted him. Teren realized it was a way of asking if she would accept his embrace or not. She did, and melted against him, their steps and stride the same. “How did you know?” she asked hoarsely, pressing her cheek briefly against his shoulder.

  “You’d never make it as an undercover agent, Teren. Your every emotion is written across your face and in your eyes.” Meeting her upturned gaze, Nolan was drawn to kiss her, but he didn’t. They were out in public and this was enough of a personal gesture on his part toward her. He knew it would be seen by those nearby and he was sure it would fire the gossip at the dinner tables tonight with the staff. They all loved Teren. They wanted only the best for her. And so did Nolan. He was taking one hell of a risk by being this intimate with her so soon.

  “I always got accused of being like that at home, too. My family could read me like an open book,” she admitted sourly, surrendering to his strong, tall body, absorbing his protection, other feelings awakening in her, chasing away the rest of her shock and fear.

  “Don’t ever change,” he told her, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. “I like you just the way you are, Teren.”

  “You’re the only one, then. I mean”—she opened her hand—“my family thinks that I’m a wimp and weak. I’m the youngest of four kids, with three older brothers.”

  He snorted. “Well, there you go. You didn’t stand a chance.”

  She grinned a little, the darkness that surrounded her beginning to lift. Nolan led her up to the round concrete fountain that spewed water six feet into the air. He halted in front of it and turned Teren so that she was facing him.

  Teren laid her hands on his lower arms, studying Nolan’s serious face beneath her sable lashes. He was strong where she was presently weak. She’d been stunned by the information he and Ayman had shared with her. Teren could feel him adjusting, shifting to read her, to fulfill her demands right now even though she hadn’t asked anything from him. His large hands slid in a caressing gesture across her sh
oulders, making her skin leap and tingle wildly. That heated sensation raced down through her, and she savored the feelings of being a woman desired by this man. Instinctively, she wondered if Nolan would be a good lover, a man who shared, who didn’t just take and then get up and walk away, leaving her aching and wanting. Teren’s choices in men had always left her unfulfilled and feeling as if she had missed something in the connection.

  “Right now,” he told her in a low, gritty tone, “you need a little pampering and care, Teren. I want to be the man who gives it to you, but you need to let me know just how far it goes. Or if you want it at all. Tell me what you need because I don’t want to overstep my bounds with you. You’ve been hit broadside with some serious news. This is not me, the operator, talking to his PSD. It’s me, the man, talking to you as a woman I care about.”

  Nolan knew he was taking a huge risk with Teren. She was already overwhelmed and he was stepping in to push a personal boundary with her. It wasn’t fair, but he couldn’t read minds, either. And she wasn’t one to be forthcoming unless he coaxed her into talking with him.

  In many ways, Teren was just like him. Nolan knew why he acted the way he did. As an operator, it was necessary. But Teren wasn’t one. So what the hell kind of family made her react this way? Most women opened up without being asked. Women were able to easily speak of what they thought and felt with a man—but not Teren.

  Nolan hung on to his patience about Teren’s unknown past. He’d gone through her file once again, looking for clues. Frustrated, he’d found nothing that could explain why she was so defensive about sharing herself in ways most women found easy. Searching her stormy eyes, he saw that she felt torn by his request. He’d gone far enough with intimacy with her already and had no desire to crowd her. But damn it, he could feel how much she was hurting, how much Kitra meant to her. This was her world. This was what she loved to do.

  And now the life she’d known for years was getting ripped out from beneath her. It was changing by the minute and it wasn’t giving Teren a breather to absorb it all. It was a lot for anyone to take in, much less someone as sensitive as she was. She was strong in many ways, but in other ways, Nolan saw deep wounding in her. He didn’t want this woman hurt any more than necessary.