Sanctuary: Delos Series, Book 9 Page 17

  “You’re pale, Teren.” And then he said more gently, “You have every reason to feel the way you do.”

  “Yeah, I feel like one of those rabbits we see every morning out there when we jog. They’re defenseless, too.” She felt his fingers tighten a little more around her elbow, and she wanted to be close to him because he fed her courage, chasing some of her fear away.

  “Starting tonight, I want to show you some self-defense moves so you can protect yourself if you are attacked.”

  “Okay, that sounds positive. But do you think that will happen?” She risked a look up at his impassive expression. Throughout the briefing, Nolan had worn his game face. She could tell nothing of what he was feeling. She was glad it came off as soon as they walked together.

  “Being prepared is nine-tenths of surviving, Teren.”

  “You’re right,” she agreed, frowning.

  “You already know how to use a pistol because Ayman taught you, and he’s had you get out on that small shooting range outside Kitra every couple of weeks to keep your aim sharp.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “But honestly, Nolan? I could never fire a pistol at anyone with the intent of hurting them. I just don’t have it in me. I told Ayman that too, but he insisted I learn.”

  Nolan pushed open the main door that led out to the shady courtyard. “Don’t you think you could pull a trigger if you saw a man coming at you with the intent to kidnap or harm you?”

  Her stomach rolled big-time as they walked down the red tile sidewalk. Around her, many of the employees were coming out for lunch, looking forward to eating at the picnic tables beneath the shade of the trees. “I-I don’t know, Nolan.”

  He decided to change the topic. “It’s okay,” he said, trying to reassure her, leading her toward her duplex. Overhead, a few puffy clouds were gathering. Nolan wished it would thunderstorm in the afternoon, cutting the unbearable heat and cooling off the burning grasslands surrounding Kitra.

  Halting at her door, he opened it for her. Teren suddenly stiffened and jerked out of his grasp. He heard her gulp and give him an anxious look, her hand over her mouth as she tore past him, running down the hall toward the bathroom.

  For a second, Nolan was stunned. He suddenly realized that it was Teren’s sensitive-stomach issue. Cursing, he quickly shut the door, locked it, and cleared the place. Then he hurried down the hall toward where she’d disappeared.

  He heard her retching and walked into her large bathroom. He felt sick himself as he saw her kneeling in front of the toilet, gripping it as she dry-heaved.

  He knew she’d feel embarrassed by him seeing her like this. Grabbing a glass of water and dampening a nearby cloth, he walked over, crouching down, his arm light around her waist. He saw the abject misery in her features, the darkness in her eyes. Shakily, she took the water, drank a little, and spat into the bowl. She did it three times before returning the glass to him.

  Leaning up, he flushed the toilet. And then he handed her the damp cloth.

  “Here,” he urged. “Wipe your nose and mouth.” Helplessness clawed at Nolan. He could see the terror in her eyes as she straightened, wiping the cloth against her face with trembling fingers.

  He released her waist and gently smoothed her tee against her hunched shoulders. She was shaking uncontrollably.

  “I-I’m sorry,” she whispered brokenly.

  “Don’t be,” he said gruffly. He took the cloth and handed her the glass. “Rinse your mouth out one more time.” Her fingers were chilled as she wrapped her hands around it, giving him a look of apology. Her face glistened with perspiration. He ached to take away her pain, her fear, stilling his hand on her shoulder, trying to steady her. When Teren was finished, he took the cup, setting it on a nearby counter. “Feel like getting up yet?”

  “Just let me kneel here for a moment.” She put her face in her hands and hung her head.

  “Take your time,” Nolan said calmly. He moved his hand across her hair, smoothing it away from her face. “It’s going to be all right, Teren,” he rasped, sliding his arm around her shoulders, urging her to lean against his body for support. He pressed a kiss to her hair, wanting to will away all the terror he felt around her.

  Once more, Teren had pushed all her feelings deep down inside her until they welled up in the form of vomiting. Was this something she’d done as a child, too? Now he felt her lean into him, entrusting herself to him.

  “Think you’re going to have another round?”

  With a shake of her head, she muttered, “No…I get so weak afterward. I-it takes me a few minutes to gather myself. I’m so sorry, Nolan…I didn’t want you to see me like this. It’s humiliating…”

  The strangled emotions in her voice tore his heart open. “Hey,” he growled. “No apologies. Remember, when we’re scared, the body reacts. It’s just what it does, Teren. There’s no shame in it, sweetheart. I’m the one who should be apologizing, anyway. I pushed you over the edge.” He saw her hands fall away and she barely looked up at him.

  “I was already there,” she admitted hoarsely. “Help me stand, Nolan, please? I want to get out of here.”

  He gave her a faint smile. “I’ll do better than that. Hold on.” In one smooth, unbroken motion, he lifted Teren into his arms, walking her out of the bathroom and taking her down the hall to her bedroom. He nudged the door open with the toe of his boot and then gently placed her on the bed.

  Teren had wrapped her arms around his shoulders, wearily resting her forehead against his neck as he carried her down the hall. She trusted him, and his heart soared with that knowledge.

  “Why don’t you rest for a while?” He sat her down, their hips brushing against one another. He’d brought up a pale pink knitted blanket that she had on the end of her bed. Tucking it in around her to her waist, he watched her skin become less pale. What Teren needed was to be fussed over, and Nolan was more than willing to give that to her.

  “Th-thanks,” she whispered. She pushed some of her hair away from her face, fingers trembling. “I can’t stay here long, Nolan. I have to be back at work in an hour.”

  He shook his head and said, “I’ll let Farida know you need to take the afternoon off, Teren. She’ll understand. And I won’t tell her why. She knows you’re upset about this. Anyone would be, so just rest. Promise?”

  Closing her eyes, Teren said hollowly, “Okay…yes, call her? I can do what I need to do this afternoon from my computer here in my home office. There are a lot of things that need to be done by the end of the day, Nolan.”

  He patted her hip. “I’ll call her. Now, go to sleep for a while. I don’t think you got a lot of sleep last night, did you?”

  Sighing, Teren grimaced. “No…not a lot. This is just weighing on me…”

  He forced himself to rise, because what Nolan really wanted to do was curve her beside him, hold her, and allow her to feel the protection she desperately needed, but to do that would be a foolish move on his part. Teren was already vulnerable, and he knew he couldn’t resist loving her if she were in his arms.

  “Understandable,” he agreed gently. “I’ll crack the door, but I’ll be around. I’m not leaving you alone here. And I’ll let Farida know you’re working from home this afternoon. If you need me, I’ll be out in your living room.”

  Teren closed her eyes and moved to her side, tucking her face against the pillow, exhausted. Very soon, she spiraled into a deep, healing sleep, knowing Nolan was nearby, protecting her.

  *

  Every once in a while, Nolan would quietly check in on Teren. She was sleeping soundly, having pulled the pink blanket over her shoulders. What concerned him was the fact that she’d gone into a fetal position of protection, knees drawn up to her torso. It showed him just how frightened she was. The body never lied. A person could lie, but the body always told the truth. Those nonverbal reactions spoke volumes.

  He had called Farida hours earlier. It was three p.m., and Nolan was going to let Teren sleep as long as she wanted. Fea
r physically drained people—he had seen it dozens of times while on the job. It was shock robbing the body instead of supporting it. And Ayman’s unflinching report of what was going on made every supervisor in that room upset as they tried to deal with their own stunned reactions.

  He imagined Teren felt like a piece of raw meat thrown out on a sidewalk with no way to protect herself in that meeting.

  At four p.m. Nolan peeked into her bedroom and saw her slowly open her eyes, lying on her back, the blanket across her lower body.

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” he teased, easing into the room. “How are you feeling?”

  Yawning, her hand against her mouth, Teren mumbled, “I just woke up…”

  Nolan eased his bulk onto the edge of the bed, their hips barely touching. He saw how drowsy her eyes looked. Her hair was mussed and he slid a few strands away from her left eye. “You needed the sleep.”

  “I had nightmares last night,” she admitted thickly, slowly pulling herself up and leaning back against the headboard. “I woke myself up screaming in one of them.”

  “I didn’t hear you.” Teren’s shoulders were slumped, and she looked more like a child waking up than an adult. Coming out of sleep was when a person had no shields in place. Nolan hungrily absorbed Teren’s drowsy state, seeing no fear in her eyes. Reaching out, he caressed her cheek. “You’re not pale anymore, either. That’s good.”

  Her skin was soft and firm beneath his fingertips. Her lips parted. She was pure innocence to Nolan in that moment, reacting positively to his touch, a rosy glow coming to her cheeks. It was a sign that she enjoyed it.

  Something deep within Teren broke the moment Nolan slid his hand along her cheek. It was from her past. Maybe shame. Guilt? She wasn’t sure. Lifting her chin, she looked directly into his eyes, saw the desire for her in their depths, felt it warmly embracing her. Without thinking, she followed her heart for once and leaned toward him, framing his face with her hands and leaning up…up to meet and slide against his mouth. She moved beyond her fear, beyond that age-old shame, because her heart blossomed fiercely beneath Nolan’s care and tenderness toward her. All she wanted—and all she needed—was to kiss him, to give back to him a small token for what he’d given unselfishly to her this past week.

  Nolan froze for a split second but then swept her hard against him, hungrily taking her mouth like a man starved for sustenance—for her. She drowned in the strength of his lips caressing hers. Eager to feel him closer, just as hungry as he was, she melted into his embrace, pressed against him, their hearts thundering in wild unison. Teren lost herself in his male warmth, that beautiful mouth of his teasing, cajoling, and pleasuring her until a moan rose within her, flames licking down to her nipples, her lower body clenching, which screamed to be satisfied and touched by no one else but him.

  Drifting in the heat of his mouth sliding provocatively against hers, nudging open her lips, inviting her to match him, she surrendered herself to Nolan completely, giving herself to him, even her ravaged heart.

  Losing herself in his scent—the sweetness of the grasslands, the dried sweat on his skin, and that aphrodisiac that was only Nolan—made her thighs clench as he moved his fingers through her hair, caressing her scalp, wild licks of electricity skittering across it. His breathing grew shallow and she opened up more to him, brushing shyly against his tongue. Teren heard him groan and the vibration rippled through her body, tightening her nipples to an almost painful degree. It had been so long since she’d wanted to be touched. Now there wasn’t a place on her body where she didn’t want Nolan’s exploring hands.

  He tore his mouth from hers, his eyes slits, burning with want of her. “Teren—”

  “No, I want you,” she pleaded huskily, sliding her hand across his rough bearded jaw, holding his gaze. “I need you…” She saw his gaze soften, felt a powerful wave of emotions crashing against her. “You want me. I know you do. Nothing’s ever felt so right to me, Nolan…”

  Teren had never begged to be loved by a man. She saw the hesitation in his eyes and tasted him on her lips, wanting to kiss him into oblivion, her fingers moving across his nape, seeing the pleasure come to his eyes as he studied her intently.

  “I don’t have any condoms on me, Teren.”

  His voice was thick with desire. She shook her head. “It’s the right time of month for me, Nolan. I’m clean, sexually speaking. You?”

  “Same here, I’m clean.” He grazed her hair. “You’re sure, Teren?”

  “Very sure. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life than you.” She fought back hot tears. Nolan moved her soul. He didn’t know it, but he held her heart in his large, callused hands. There was so much she’d withheld from him. Teren wanted to change that, now and in the future. She saw so much in Nolan’s expression: desire, torrid heat, hesitancy. Reaching up, she allowed her fingers to drift down from his jaw, across his neck to his shoulder. “I won’t break,” she whispered, trying to lighten the worry she saw in his expression. “It’s been two years since I was with a man, so we need to go slow.”

  His features softened more.

  “We will,” he promised her thickly. “You just need to tell me if you’re uncomfortable or you don’t like something I do, Teren. This is about us loving one another. It’s not a one-way street. All right?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, easing away from him, pushing the blanket aside. He wore a black T-shirt and jeans. The fabric stretched across his chest, and she allowed herself to salivate as she got on her knees and opened her hands, spreading them across Nolan’s taut body, closing her eyes, absorbing him into her in every possible way. And he wasn’t idle, either, pulling up the edge on her tee. In moments, he had removed the material, revealing her white cotton bra.

  The instant his large, roughened palms enclosed her breasts, she whimpered, her fingers stilling on his chest. And then his thumbs caressed the tight peaks thrusting outward against the fabric and she uttered a serrated cry, the sharp electric shocks like small earthquakes rolling down through her.

  Her mind disappeared. That was the only way to describe it. His hands were now commanding her body, his lips now caressing her neck, trailing a path of different, wild sensations throughout her. Teren had never experienced foreplay like this. The men she had known were always in a hurry, wanting to get into her, satisfy themselves. But Nolan was taking his time, teasing her with small nips, a lick, and then a lingering kiss across her throat, moving on to her prominent collarbones. Soft sounds left her lips, and her breathing changed, becoming more chaotic as he eased the hooks free, pulling off her bra.

  CHAPTER 15

  Nolan made a growling sound of pleasure as he saw how perfectly formed her breasts were. He could see the faint throb of her heart on the left side of her chest and ravished one of those hardened rosy peaks. Teren’s fingers dug into his arms as he leaned down to taste the first nipple. Her cries overcame his caution and hardened him to the point of pain. You are mine, Nolan silently promised her as his mind began to disintegrate in the scalding heat of her twisting hips, which were begging for more of what he was giving her. He wanted to love her until he fused her body, heart, and soul to him.

  Teren started to protest that she should be a full partner in their lovemaking, but Nolan shook his head, giving her a heated look. “You’ve had so much taken from you this week, Teren. Let me give you something that’s positive in return. Just this once?”

  The man had a way with words, she decided. But that didn’t mean Teren was going to lie there and be passive—that wasn’t in her nature. Nolan must have seen that challenging glint in her eye. “Just this once,” she whispered.

  “I like the wild woman you hide inside yourself, sweetheart. And I’m more than happy to see her come out and spread her wings with me.”

  By now, she was naked and so was he, their clothes in a heap on the tile floor near the bed. Nolan’s eyes swept her from her head to her delicate toes, with a blend of lust and tenderness. He lightly moved his hand from h
er shoulder, gliding across her arm, and picked up her fingers and kissed each one of them.

  At that point, Teren lost all arguments about sharing this session. She knew she wasn’t the most experienced or skilled woman at loving a man, but what she knew she intended to share with Nolan. And as he knelt at her feet, opening her legs just enough to place his knees between them, she closed her eyes in anticipation. His fingers were long, teasing, and gentle as he caressed the outsides of her ankles and calves, moving his index fingers beneath each of her knees. A fiery bolt of pleasure raced up through her and directly into her wet, throbbing channel. Already, Teren could feel the hot juices spilling out of her body, coating the insides of her thighs.

  There was magic in Nolan’s exploring hands as he moved away from those erotic spots behind each of her knees and slid his fingers upward as if imprinting every inch of her into his mind and heart. He cupped each of her long, curved upper limbs and growled her name. His voice was low and alerted every nerve that he was going to take her. Teren had no idea what her body was doing at this point, lost in wave after wave of delicious heat from his caresses. He slid his hands beneath her upper legs and opened her even more. She was grateful for his slow, steady approach, because she didn’t know what to expect next. Or what he expected from her. Resting her hands on his lower arms as he widened her, she saw his eyes become hooded and fiercely intense. She held his gaze, her heart pounding, the throb increasing at her aching gate.

  *

  Nolan eased his hands from beneath her firm, strong thighs and blanketed her with his body. She was so slender and rounded beneath him as he leaned over, taking her lips, cherishing her. Teren responded instantly, her fingers curving around his shoulders, wanting to pull him down upon her. Already, as he worshipped her soft, opening mouth, wet with so much promise, he could smell her sex scent, and it flowed like a hungry, awakening river through him.

  Nolan wanted to rush but knew better. She hadn’t had sex in two years, which was like being a virgin all over again. More than anything, he wanted Teren so wet that she would dampen the blanket beneath her. He wanted her ripe, needing him as urgently as he needed her.