Hold Me: Delos Series, 5B1 Read online

  Hold Me

  Lindsay McKenna

  Praise for Lindsay McKenna

  “A treasure of a book … highly recommended reading that everyone will enjoy and learn from.”

  —Chief Michael Jaco, US Navy SEAL, retired, on Breaking Point

  “Readers will root for this complex heroine, scarred both inside and out, and hope she finds peace with her steadfast and loving hero. Rife with realistic conflict and spiced with danger, this is a worthy page-turner.”

  —BookPage.com on Taking Fire

  March 2015 Top Pick in Romance

  “… is fast-paced romantic suspense that renders a beautiful love story, start to finish. McKenna’s writing is flawless, and her story line fully absorbing. More, please.”

  —Annalisa Pesek, Library Journal on Taking Fire

  “Ms. McKenna masterfully blends the two different paces to convey a beautiful saga about love, trust, patience and having faith in each other.”

  —Fresh Fiction on Never Surrender

  “Genuine and moving, this romantic story set in the complex world of military ops grabs at the heart.”

  —RT Book Reviews on Risk Taker

  “McKenna does a beautiful job of illustrating difficult topics through the development of well-formed, sympathetic characters.”

  —Publisher’s Weekly (starred review) on Wolf Haven

  One of the Best Books of 2014, Publisher’s Weekly

  “McKenna delivers a story that is raw and heartfelt. The relationship between Kell and Leah is both passionate and tender. Kell is the hero every woman wants, and McKenna employs skill and s empathy to craft a physically and emotionally abused character in Leah. Using tension and steady pacing, McKenna is adept at expressing growing, tender love in the midst of high stakes danger.”

  —RT Book Reviews on Taking Fire

  “Her military background lends authenticity to this outstanding tale, and readers will fall in love with the upstanding hero and his fierce determination to save the woman he loves.

  —Publishers Weekly (starred review) on Never Surrender

  One of the Best Books of 2014, Publisher’s Weekly

  “Readers will find this addition to the Shadow Warriors series full of intensity and action-packed romance. There is great chemistry between the characters and tremendous realism, making Breaking Point a great read.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “This sequel to Risk Taker is an action-packed, compelling story, and the sizzling chemistry between Ethan and Sarah makes this a good read.”

  —RT Book Reviews on Degree of Risk

  “McKenna elicits tears, laughter, fist-pumping triumph, and most all, a desire for the next tale in this powerful series.”

  —Publishers Weekly (starred review) on Running Fire

  “McKenna’s military experience shines through in this moving tale … McKenna (High Country Rebel) skillfully takes readers on an emotional journey into modern warfare and two people’s hearts.”

  —Publisher’s Weekly on Down Range

  “Lindsay McKenna has proven that she knows what she’s doing when it comes to these military action/romance books.”

  —Terry Lynn, Amazon on Zone of Fire.

  “At no time do you want to put your book down and come back to it later! Last Chance is a well written, fast paced, short (remember that) story that will please any military romance reader!”

  —LBDDiaries, Amazon on Last Chance.

  Also available from

  Lindsay McKenna

  Blue Turtle Publishing

  DELOS

  Last Chance, prologue novella to Nowhere to Hide

  Nowhere To Hide, Book 1

  Tangled Pursuit, Book 2

  Forged in Fire, Book 3

  2016

  Broken Dreams, Book 4

  Cowboy Justice Bundle/Blind Sided, Bundle 2, novella

  Secret Dream, novella epilogue to Nowhere to Hide

  Hold On, Book 5

  Hold Me, novella epilogue to Hold On

  Unbound Pursuit, novella epilogue to Tangled Pursuit

  Dog Tags for Christmas Bundle/Snowflake’s Gift, Bundle 3, novella

  2017

  Never Enough, novella epilogue to Forged in Fire

  Dream of Me, novella epilogue to Broken Dreams

  Harlequin/HQN/Harlequin Romantic Suspense

  SHADOW WARRIORS

  Danger Close

  Down Range

  Risk Taker

  Degree of Risk

  Breaking Point

  Never Surrender

  Zone of Fire

  Taking Fire

  On Fire

  Running Fire

  THE WYOMING SERIES

  Shadows From The Past

  Deadly Identity

  Deadly Silence

  The Last Cowboy

  The Wrangler

  The Defender

  The Loner

  High Country Rebel

  Wolf Haven

  Night Hawk

  Out Rider

  WIND RIVER VALLEY SERIES, Kensington

  2016

  Wind River Wrangler

  2017

  Wind River Rancher

  Wind River Cowboy

  Hold Me

  Copyright © 2016 by Nauman Living Trust

  ISBN: 978-1-929977-35-2

  Kindle Edition

  Excerpt from Unbound Pursuit

  Copyright © 2016 by Nauman Living Trust

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Blue Turtle Publishing, PO Box 2513, Cottonwood, AZ 86326 USA.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This edition published by arrangement with Blue Turtle Publishing

  www.lindsaymckenna.com

  Dear Reader,

  Welcome to the Delos Series and thank you for purchasing this book! I truly hope you enjoy it. If it leaves you with warm fuzzies, please think about writing a review on it for me? Reviews are VERY important and helpful in bringing new readers to my series. If you would love to review but never have, just get a hold of me at my contact information, which can be found at my website lindsaymckenna.com and I’ll send you my little article on how to write a dynamite review!

  The novella, Hold Me, is a continuation of Hold On with our hero and heroine Beau and Callie.

  Beau Gardner, Army Delta Force sergeant, has only a few months left before he can leave military life behind to marry Callie McKinley, the woman of his dreams. Callie has been recovering from an attack at the hands of the Taliban at her parents’ Montana ranch, but she knows Beau must return to Afghanistan. But it is a dangerous place, and Beau soon finds himself in the line of fire.

  Let me hear from you about the Delos series. Happy reading!

  Dedication

  To Tricia Speed, who does it all and I couldn’t do it without her!

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Praise for Lindsay McKenna

  Also available from Lindsay McKenna

  Copyright Page

  Dear Reader

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapt
er 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Excerpt from Unbound Pursuit

  The Books of Delos

  Everything Delos!

  CHAPTER 1

  January 2

  Callie McKinley tried to stuff down her fears as she stood with her fiancé, Beau Gardner, a Delta Force Army sergeant, at the Butte, Montana airport. He was leaving on this cold January under clear skies, typical of a Montana winter morning. She felt his arm curved around her shoulders and took comfort in it, but it didn’t dissolve her growing terror as he prepared to complete his fifth tour in Afghanistan. Callie felt his fingers move soothingly up and down her upper arm as she leaned against his tall, hard body. Was he reading her mind? She tried to appear relaxed and calm, but inside she was drowning in a storm of anxiety.

  People were making their way home from the Christmas and New Year holidays. Beau was dressed in civilian clothes and Callie didn’t think anyone in the bustling airport would know he was a deadly operator. He had saved her life late November when her civilian charity van was attacked by Taliban on the way to a “safe” Afghan village to render medical aid. She had been a devoted child care worker for Hope Charity, spending six months of every year in Kabul, the capital, where she assisted fifty orphaned Afghan babies and young children. She loved her work with them, even while knowing that Kabul wasn’t truly safe.

  She sighed, resting her brow against Beau’s Levi’s jacket, closing her eyes and squeezing him around his trim waist. Instantly, Beau responded, dropping a light kiss on her hair and holding her a bit more tightly for a moment, as if to reassure her. He knew she was worried about his going back over there. His enlistment wasn’t up until June of this year and it was only January. Six months. Callie knew that in the winter, the Taliban attacks slowed down or stopped because the heavy snowfall didn’t allow the enemy to travel around the country very easily. They all headed back to Pakistan to wait until the spring thaw in April. Then, they would return to begin systematic attacks against anyone, Afghan, American, or otherwise, who did not share their beliefs.

  “You doing okay?” Beau asked as he leaned down, his lips brushing the curve of her ear.

  “I’m doing okay,” she lied. The last thing Callie wanted was to have Beau worry about her and not focus on his job in black ops. She heard a rumble in his broad chest.

  “You’re such a beautiful liar, Ms. McKinley, but I love you anyway.”

  She absorbed his West Virginia drawl, soothed by the low, husky sound of his voice and feeling how much he loved her. Callie had thought she knew what love was after dating a series of “Mr. Wrongs.” Then, Beau, a twenty-seven-year-old Army Delta Force sergeant, had more or less crashed into her life when she was working in Kabul, changing it forever. Rousing herself, she lifted her head, angling it so she could meet his amused gray eyes focused solely on her. Lips twisting, she whispered, “I’m not lying, Beau. Well, maybe a little …”

  “Hey, I know you. You’re a first-class worry wart, sweetheart. I’ll be fine,” he promised, dropping another kiss on her furrowed brow. “I’ll be home before you know it and I’ll meet you right here in this airport.” He lifted his head, angling his chin. “And Grandpa Graham will be here with you.”

  Callie rallied a small smile. Her Grandpa Graham, formerly a Marine Corps sniper and black ops veteran, was standing near the swinging doors, looking around as he always did. She supposed it was his top secret security background that made him more alert to the situations around him. “Yes, Grandpa will be here with me, for sure. But the rest of the McKinley family will probably be here to meet you, too. Everyone loves you. You know that.” And her Montana ranch family truly did love Beau. He fit in so well with the ranching lifestyle.

  His own folks, Cletus and Amber Gardner, lived on Black Mountain in West Virginia. They were from a long line of hill people who had lived over a hundred years on that mountain. Beau might not have come from a ranch background, but he was used to living close to nature, had a rural soul, was a hunter and fisherman, and helped his father, a furniture maker.

  “Yes, I love your family,” he agreed, rocking her in his arms, squeezing her once more to comfort her. “I can hardly wait for you to meet my family. They’re dying to meet you.”

  “Ugh, don’t use the word, ‘dying,’ Beau,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

  “Oh … sorry … well, yes, they want to meet the woman I’m going to marry after I get home in June. The good news is that they’re driving up here to be with us when we get married at the Eagle Feather Ranch. It’s going to be a great big shindig, for sure,” he said, smiling down into her eyes.

  Beau’s love settled over Callie like a warm blanket. She felt it in his gaze, in the way he was holding her against him, rocking her just a little, as if he were rocking a frightened child. And right now, that was exactly how Callie felt. No matter how much she tried to tell herself Beau was going to be all right once he returned to Bagram and conducted his winter missions, her heart was awash in fear. Her emotions were raw, anyway, because she’d gotten a good dose of PTSD from that ambush late last year in Afghanistan.

  “I can hardly wait,” she whispered shakily.

  “Hey, look at it this way. We’re going to get married in late June after I return, and we can talk about all the wedding plans before then via Skype and email. There’s lots to look forward to doing together in the months ahead, Callie.”

  Right now, thinking about finding a dress or anything else was the last thing on her mind, but she wanted Beau to think that it was the right answer for now. “You’re right. But you can’t see the wedding dress until I walk down the aisle with you.” She melted beneath his boyish smile, his eyes alight with mischief.

  “Ohhh, come on, Callie, I’m black ops. We’re pretty good at tracking down wedding dresses!” he chuckled.

  She laughed, fighting back tears. Since their escape from the Taliban ambush and during those horrific days and nights on the run, Callie had changed—she was now a fearful, high-strung person. Grandpa Graham assured her it was PTSD and that with time, her anxieties would begin to diminish. But they hadn’t. Or maybe she was still too close to the experience and expecting too much, too soon. Beau had been wounded in the attack. His captain allowed him to take leave to see her close to Christmas. He’d arrived here from Afghanistan just before the holiday, and a lot of her PTSD symptoms had gone away. He, too, had PTSD, but had learned to live with it.

  Beau had always teased her that having sex was the best way to release the feel-good endorphins that would overwhelm the high cortisol creating her 24/7 anxiety. He was right about that! Even now, her body glowed from their lovemaking before their departure from the ranch.

  “I know you would, Beau. Still, I’d like it to be a nice surprise for you.”

  “Okay,” he said in his drawl, “I don’t want to disappoint the woman I’m going to marry. I’ll be good and not peek, okay? But let’s talk about all the other angles of bringing this shindig together, okay?”

  Nuzzling her cheek against Beau’s chest, closing her eyes and inhaling his male scent, she whispered, “Yes, I’ll do that with you.” How much she was going to miss him! In her present broken state, she was a hot mess. On the other hand, he was stable, reliable, and in love with her. Having Beau made up for what she’d lost during that ambush and the nearly forty-mile run back to Bagram. He was like emotional glue, filling her fractured soul, holding her together so she could stabilize.

  Callie wondered if she could make it without him—and was aware that these thoughts reflected a major change in her. After all, she was a rancher’s daughter, raised in a natural world where being tough in every way was important. She’d been confident, strong, and in love with life until that damned attack.

  As if sensing her anxiety, Beau wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly, resting his cheek against her hair.

  “It’s going to be okay, Callie. I promise you, I’ll be fine. I’m going to go work with Maggie over
at the Hope Charity Orphanage on my days off.” He laughed a little. “I’ll go over there and change babies’ diapers and clean out the diaper pail like I did when we met there. Those four Afghan widows and Maggie will love having me around again.”

  Laughing, burying her head beneath his and hearing the slow pounding of his heart soothed her. She said, “Oh, I already emailed Maggie and told her you’d be dropping by to help her and the orphans when you could. She’s tickled pink, Beau.” That was where Callie had fallen in love with Beau when he took up security duty at the orphanage with his Delta Force team leader, Sergeant Matt Culver. Her sister, Dara, was a pediatrician, and had also been there helping with the fifty babies and young children. Matt had fallen in love with Dara, she thought, from the moment he saw her at the Thanksgiving USO show at Bagram. Beau swore he’d fallen in love with Callie at the same time because she and Dara had performed a dual belly dancing routine for four thousand servicemen to lift their spirits during the holiday season.

  “Yep, I’ll become her official diaper changer when I go there to help out,” he agreed, grinning widely.

  Her face fell as Callie heard the dreaded boarding call for Beau’s commercial flight to Seattle, Washington. Her arms automatically tightened around his waist. Scrunching her eyes shut, she wanted to dissolve into his body and always be with him, her love and need for him was so powerful. She felt Beau draw in a slow, ragged breath.

  “I gotta go, sweetheart,” he rasped, kissing her hair and kissing her cheek. “I love you. I’ll be fine, so don’t worry. Okay?”

  She felt as if she were being torn into bleeding, painful pieces. Releasing him, Callie choked back a sob, her throat tightening. Stepping away from him, lifting her lashes to his narrowing gray gaze, his hands on her upper arms, she whispered, “Don’t you dare die on me, Beau Gardner, or I’ll kill you.”

  He laughed and shook his head. “You’re too funny, Ms. McKinley.” His smile disappeared. “I’m going over to tell your grandpa goodbye and I’ll be right back.”

  Nodding, Callie knew her grandpa was deliberately standing apart from them to give them these last few minutes of privacy together. “Yes. He loves you so much, Beau …”