Hold On (Delos Series Book 5) Read online

  “Okay,” she muttered. “Let’s pick something out later. I need to get back to work.”

  And she was gone, just like that. Swimming in elated shock, Beau grinned and hoisted up the clean diaper pail he’d just filled with water and a bit of bleach. Maybe if he pretended to ignore Callie, she’d come to him. Well, tonight was going to make or break whatever hopes he had. And damned if he wasn’t interested in her on more than just a lusty level.

  He’d been with her three solid days here, putting in twelve hours a day, and he’d seen the work and care she put into this orphanage. He liked the love she extended to the children, who clearly adored her. There was nothing to dislike about Callie McKinley and more to like—much more.

  *

  “Tell me about yourself,” Callie said, sitting with Beau at a table in the rear of the busy, noisy pizzeria. It was raining outside and he’d picked her up in a Humvee earlier at her B-hut. How he’d gotten his hands on one, she didn’t know, but she didn’t ask. It was probably because he was black ops and could finagle a vehicle to drive her across the base to the restaurant.

  Beau had changed out of the clothes he normally wore at the orphanage. Instead, she could smell the fresh soap on his skin, telling her he’d showered earlier. And his hair was washed and somewhat tamed around his neck and below his ears. He’d even trimmed his beard. Callie liked the black chinos he wore with a light gray sweater beneath his black leather jacket. He looked dangerous to her—and he was. She sensed it.

  She tried not to think of it, but she realized that her body was yearning for his touch, his mouth on hers, his hands exploring her. The man was sensual as hell, and she wished she could ignore it, but she just couldn’t.

  “Well,” he drawled, “my pa is a tanner up on Black Mountain near our cabin. A lot of hunters from all over the state use his services after they kill a deer. He’s well known for the quality and softness of the hides he tans. My ma stays at home. She had the three of us boys, has a huge garden, cans in the late summer and fall, and puts up food for the coming winter. She’s also a crochet queen.”

  Beau watched Callie delicately eat the pizza, fascinated as he watched her lips move, forcing his body to behave itself. He was damn glad that she couldn’t see his growing erection.

  “Why did you join the Army?” she asked between bites of pizza.

  “My pa was in the Marine Corps for four years. He wanted all of us boys to serve our country and told us to choose a service. I liked the Army, and my two younger brothers went into the Marine Corps.”

  “How did you get into Delta Force?”

  Beau wiped his fingers on the paper napkin after finishing off his fourth wedge of pizza. “My pa taught us boys how to hunt, shoot, and track when we were real young. The neighbors up on top of the mountain, the Thorn family, used to join us in the fall when it was legal to hunt deer. Floyd Thorn always brought his oldest daughter, Baylee Ann Thorn, along with him. The three of us boys used to track with Baylee. She was better at it than we were.” He smiled fondly, remembering those times. “But to answer your question, I guess I was good enough that Delta Force came hunting me down and invited me to join them. Before that, I’d been a ground-pounder, a combat soldier, was all.”

  Her mouth turned up as she took her second slice of pizza. “Delta Force is well known to take the cream of the Army crop. So there must have been something really special about you, Beau. You were more than just a soldier.”

  He warmed to her using his name. Callie was clearly having a battle within herself, trying to keep her distance, yet wanting to know about him. Beau gave her a shrug, sipping his cold beer, his gaze flitting across the darkened restaurant, filled mostly with groups of men at tables. He was one of the few who had a woman with him, because men far outnumbered women here on this base.

  “I think it was because of my hunting and tracking skills.”

  “It sounds like it,” she agreed.

  “What about you?” he asked, holding her thoughtful green gaze. “Tell me where you’re from. Where did you grow up?”

  Callie smiled a little. “I was born in Butte, Montana. My dad is an orthopedic surgeon and my mom is a registered nurse. We live on my grandparents’ ten-thousand-acre working cattle spread, the Eagle Feather Ranch, outside the city. My grandpa Graham McKinley runs the ranch. My grandma Maisy is an accountant for the ranch and works at home.”

  “So you’re a bona fide cowgirl?” he teased, giving her a warm look. Beau saw a slight flush come to her cheeks.

  “My grandpa put me up on my first horse when I was three years old,” Callie recalled. “He told me years later that I yelled my head off because I was scared.”

  Beau couldn’t take his eyes off her animated, heart-shaped face as she talked about the incident. He was happy to see that Callie was finally relaxing, at least in stages. He’d put this stage at a three out of ten.

  “About the closest I got to a horse was riding the Thorns’ mule,” he now confided. “All of us boys would walk half a mile up to the crest of the mountain where they lived and beg Mr. Thorn for a mule ride. Then the three of us would pile onto the mule’s back for a spin around the property. We felt pretty special, and I always enjoyed those rides.”

  “That was really nice of him to do that for you,” Callie said. She picked up her mug of beer and took a sip.

  “Hill people stick together,” he pointed out. “There’s a bunch of families who live up on Black Mountain, and we all support one another. I know a lot of folks call us ‘hillbillies’ and look down on us, but we’re there for each other whenever we’re needed.”

  Shaking her head, Callie muttered, “I hate it when people show their prejudices like that.”

  “In Dunmore, a pretty large town south of us,” Beau went on, “my ma always ran into that kind of thing. She didn’t wear the latest fashions, so people would shun her, ignore her, or pretend she wasn’t standing in line to get waited on.”

  He saw flashes of anger and, yes, regret in Callie’s eyes. Wow! His little redheaded spitfire could sure get pissed off in a hell of a hurry! Beau withheld a grin over that discovery.

  “That’s just plain wrong,” Cassie sputtered. “I’m sure it hurt her feelings.”

  “The hill people living on Black Mountain didn’t often go down to the lowlanders’ towns,” he said. “We were pretty self-sufficient. We raised our own meat, we hunted, we had big gardens, and we helped one another. Mr. Thorn, for example, would take his mule and ride him over to other parts of the mountain and plow up the ground for other folks so they could put in their gardens every spring. My pa would help him when he could. He and Floyd would go hunting and kill enough deer for everyone. After they skinned and quartered them, they’d take the meat to the elderly folks on the mountain who couldn’t hunt any longer.”

  “I like that about your folks,” Callie confided as she finished her pizza slice. She pushed the last wedge toward Beau. “Finish this off, Beau? I’m stuffed!”

  “You sure?” he asked. “You could take it back with you for a midnight snack.”

  “I’m very sure. And I’m glad to see that you know how to share.”

  He chuckled and picked up the last wedge. “What? You have some guy in your past who’d steal pizza out of your hands so he could gobble it down himself?”

  His heart somersaulted as she smiled—really smiled at him—for the first time. Beau thought he’d died and gone to heaven in that moment. Callie was always beautiful, but when she smiled, her green eyes shone with a radiance that went straight into his heart and lit him up inside. He decided he liked making her smile.

  “I’ve had that experience, yes. Not often, but when it happened, I never saw him again. That kind of attitude tells me a lot. Specifically, I realized that he was selfish and put himself first instead of thinking about others’ needs. I don’t keep people like that in my life. Ever.”

  He munched thoughtfully on the cheesy, salty pizza. “Kinda thought that. You strike me as a gal w
ho doesn’t suffer fools—at all.”

  “No, I don’t.” Callie scowled and wrapped her slender hands around the cold mug of beer in front of her. “And I haven’t made up my mind about you yet, Beau, but I am drawn to you. I just can’t figure out why …”

  His brows rose. “Maybe because I’m a good-lookin’ brute?” he teased, watching her cheeks flood with color. He knew he wasn’t hard to look at, but he also wasn’t one of those handsome hunks on the covers of the romance novels that his ma loved to read, either. Beau considered himself ordinary-looking, and that was fine with him.

  Sitting back, Callie absorbed the warmth dancing in his eyes. “To tell you the truth. I wasn’t looking for a man. I don’t need a relationship getting started here at Bagram. Besides, you guys are interested in only one thing, and I’m not interested in anyone who’s just focused on having a good time.”

  “Sounds like you’ve had one too many bad experiences around here,” he said, suddenly becoming serious.

  “Yes, one too many,” Callie muttered. “Which has me confused about you. You didn’t lie to me about why you showed up at the orphanage.”

  He munched and then swallowed. “My parents never put up with liars. We boys learned to tell the truth when we were real young. We were taught that your word was your bond, and you never went back on it. And I suspect that, you being a ranch gal from the West, your parents and grandparents are a lot like my parents in that department.”

  “Hah! You’d better believe it,” Callie laughed, then got serious again. “I just can’t figure you out.”

  “You mean, I’m like a Chinese puzzle box?” he coaxed with a chuckle.

  “You’re black ops. You’ve been trained to assume a cover, to be something you aren’t. You’re all chameleons. That’s what has me concerned.”

  “Look, Callie,” he said, dropping his casual demeanor and looking directly into her eyes. “What you see is what you get with me. I’m not trying to hide anything from you. Am I attracted to you? Yes. Do I think you’re an incredible dancer? Yes.”

  “You’re either the most honest guy I’ve met here at Bagram, or you’re the best liar I’ve ever run into,” she laughed.

  Finishing off his pizza, Beau wiped his mouth with the paper napkin. “You’re not a target, Callie. I never knew much about NGOs or the work you gals put in, but being with you this past week has given me a whole new appreciation for your commitment to those kids’ welfare.” He continued holding her gaze; he’d never been more honest than he was right now. “There’s just something special about you, other than being a highly talented belly dancer. It would be an honor to get to know you better.”

  How could she turn down this man? He seemed to have all the right words and answers for her. Callie sat there, the vibration of his low, Southern voice feathering through her, making her want things she knew she shouldn’t want. There was a simplicity to Beau Gardner, a down-to-earth quality. He was a man close to the land and to nature, and that called to her. She was the same way, having come from a hardworking ranch family.

  “I just don’t want to get into a relationship,” she warned him. “I’ve been suckered in before, and I swore I wasn’t ever going to be used again.”

  He pushed the aluminum pizza pan aside, resting his arms on the table, and then shocked her with his next words. “I’m not the kind of man who plays games, Callie. I’ve been up-front with you from the moment we met. I really am drawn to you for many reasons.” He opened his hands. “And I’d be telling you the world’s biggest windy if I said I didn’t think you’re the sexiest woman I’ve seen in a long, long time. And sure, I think about what it would be like holding you in my arms, in my bed.”

  Wow, this guy called it like it was! Callie sat there, stunned, hearing the grittiness in his tone, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around her chest protectively, staring back at him. “Beau, are you always like this with a woman you want?”

  He shrugged. “Well, to tell you the truth, I’m always honest with a woman who interests me. I don’t play games, Callie. If there’s a connection, that’s great. If there isn’t, then there’s nothing I can do to change that, is there? I happen to think there’s something special between us.”

  Blunt and honest. How refreshing was that? Callie felt the clench of hunger ramping up within her. “I’ve got to tell you, I’m not open to one-night stands.”

  “I’m not either,” Beau agreed quietly.

  There was no doubt in her mind that he was telling the truth. And that was even more alarming as she found herself fantasizing what it would be like to …

  “Then what do you want?” she asked, needing to hear the words.

  “I’m not sure, because you’re different. You call to me, to … well, to my heart.” He gave her a sheepish look. “Normally, my heart isn’t in the mix. Oh, there’s certainly physical appreciation for a woman who interests me, but for whatever reason you grabbed my heart from the moment I saw you dance. That hasn’t changed. It’s just gotten stronger. The more I get to know you, the more I like what I see. What do I want from you? I’d like you to trust me enough to see what draws us to one another. I don’t know where it’s going, gal, but I’d sure like to find out. Wouldn’t you?”

  Okay, the ball was in her court. Callie gave him a speculative look. “You’re either the smoothest operator I’ve ever run into, or you really are who you say you are. I know that you black ops guys are good at getting what you go after. You can turn into what we want you to be, so you know how to approach us women. Black ops guys are known to read a human being better than ninety-nine percent of the rest of us on God’s green earth.”

  “I don’t disagree with your analysis of us, Callie. When we’re undercover, we do use those skills. But I’m not using them on you right now. And I hear you loud and clear that you don’t trust me,” he acknowledged, folding his hands.

  Feeling guilty, Callie knew she’d hurt him. “Look, Beau, I’m sorry to be so defensive, but I’ve been used in the past, more than once, and I never want to go through that again. That’s all,” she added, feeling unsure of how he would respond to her fragility. Most men would just get up and walk away, she knew, or ignore her words and scheme to get her into bed anyway.

  Nodding, he said, “I got that, gal. I saw the pain and the nervousness in your eyes when we met. All I can be is honest about who I am and what I need when we’re together. Just like you are with me now,” he said with a brief smile.

  “Well,” she mumbled, leaning on the table with her elbows, “I’ll give you this: I don’t think any other guy would try to impress me by changing a baby’s diaper or cleaning out a diaper bucket.”

  Chuckling, Beau met her rueful smile. “Well, to tell you the truth, I love kids and babies and grew up helping my ma earn pin money by babysitting the tykes on Black Mountain. Believe me, I had my hands in more baby poo as a kid than you could ever imagine.”

  Callie’s heart began to slowly open as he made his shy admission. Could there really be one man on this testosterone-laden base who would be honest with her? She’d been lied to, manipulated, and disappointed so many times before that her heart couldn’t stand any more.

  But there was something so honest, so clean and refreshing about Beau Gardner that she felt all her walls, all her defensiveness, begin to melt away. Between his country-boy drawl and his sincere gray eyes, he made her feel special.

  Later, Beau walked Callie up to the porch of her B-hut. The weather was rainy and chilly, and she hunkered down in her hooded black wool coat. He kept his hand cupped beneath her elbow as he walked her down the sidewalk. Once they were protected by the overhang of the roof, Callie pulled her hood off and began to dig in her purse for the key. A part of her wanted to turn, push up on her toes, and kiss this man, but another part resisted.

  She was waiting to see what he was going to do, and she found herself wary again. She just wasn’t sure what her reaction would be if Beau tried to kiss her.

&
nbsp; “Found it,” she muttered, pulling the keys out.

  “Good enough. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the van, okay? You go ahead and get inside, and then I’ll leave.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Callie protested.

  “Oh, yes, I do.” Beau continued to swivel around, looking into the darkness and light rain. “Too many women in the past have been attacked as they were entering or leaving their B-huts.” His shadowed eyes met hers briefly. “Believe me, you’re not going to be one of them.”

  Her hand shook as she placed the key in the lock. “Thanks,” she said a little breathlessly. “It’s nice to have a personal guard dog.” She slipped inside. “Good night, Beau. Thanks for the pizza and beer.” She saw him smile, lift his baseball cap to her, and then settle it back on his head.

  “My pleasure, ma’am. Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.”

  Callie pushed the door closed, her heart pounding with the need for more of Beau. He was being the essential gentleman, which was exactly what she’d wanted. So why did she feel so damned disappointed that he hadn’t gripped her arm, hauled her against him, and kissed her senseless? Because she knew he could have, but he hadn’t.

  There were four rooms with doors within her plywood B-hut. She knocked on Dara’s door quietly, not wanting to wake up the other two women, who were already asleep. Dara didn’t answer. Grinning, Callie would have bet anything that Matt Culver had lured her over to the Eagle’s Nest. It was well known on the base that the black ops groups had their hideaways where they could take a woman, make love to her, and do it without having to worry about the MPs breaking in to ruin their night.

  Turning, she moved into her small, cramped quarters across the hall from her sister’s room. Callie wanted only happiness for her big sister and was proud of Dara for becoming an MD. But Dara didn’t understand the allure of a black ops soldier the way Callie did.

  Although he had a stellar reputation, Matt Culver was still a guy, and Callie was afraid he going to use her sister and then walk away. Maybe she’d have a talk with Dara tomorrow morning at chow to warn her off Matt. But would her sister believe her?